Lonely Disease

I think MS can be a very lonely disease.  When you have blurry eyes, tingling feelings or bowel troubles you're the only one who knows about it unless you tell someone.  When you're first diagnosed there are counseling clinics where you can talk to counselors and other people newly diagnosed with the disease.  Now after 25 years I really don't want to talk with anyone about my disease except my neurologist.  I just want to live the rest of my life as simply as I can.  I'll probably die in the town that I now call home.  One reason I wrote this article is because many people don't know anything about MS.  I don't know how many times I've told somebody that I have MS and they've said, "is that the disease Jerry Lewis is trying to cure"?  So many people don't know a thing about it and I'm going to try to explain some of the disease as it pertains to me.

I want to emphasize that MS is not a death sentence.  I now know though that I’m going to be disabled for a long time.  When you think about that it's kind of depressing but a person must go on as best as they can!  Unless a person has complications with their MS or has a heart attack or something like that multiple sclerosis won't kill you!  It will make your life challenging and difficult at times but it won’t kill you.  I consider my MS just a speed bump to what I want to accomplish in my life.  It’s taken me 25 years but now I accept my disease and all that goes with it.  I live in a great little city where I can ride my scooter everywhere and people will help me if it's needed.  

We all have to have dreams.  Let me explain something to you so I don't sound too greedy.  I don't take vacations, I don't buy fancy sports cars (vans only for me - I have to haul my scooter), I don't wear fancy jewelry or clothes and I wouldn't buy a big mansion if I could.  What I would do if I had money is live in comfort knowing that I had a lot of money in the bank.  I want to feel secure.  MS can make a person feel insecure at times because you don't know what's going to happen to you next.   I just want to feel monetarily secure!  Looking back on my 25 years with MS the disease has been a great teacher and I’ve learned a lot about myself, the disease and my inner strength.

Scooterjon